Quotes from Chuck Palahniuk

It's amazing what a woman will read into if you by accident, say I love you. Ten times out of ten, a guy means I love this.

Los libros de cirugía plástica, los panfletos y los folletos prometían ayudarme a llevar una vida normal, una vida feliz; pero esto se parecía cada vez más a lo que me han enseñado a querer. A lo que quiere todo el mundo.

You just pay your filthy money, and somewhere else, the ax falls.

It's weird how the name outlives the person, the signifier outlasts the signified, the symbol the symbolized.

if people thought you were dying, they gave you their full attention. If this might be the last time they saw you, they really saw you. Everything else about their checkbook balance and radio songs and messy hair went out the window. You had their full attention. People listened instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. And when they spoke, they weren't telling you a story. When the two of you talked, you were building something, and afterward you were both different than before.

Please note, you future dead persons, whenever you shut off a fluorescent bulb or a cathode ray tube and see a residual photon-green glow, that glow is trapped human ectoplasm. Ghosts are forever being snared in lightbulbs.

nails. The gyms you go to are crowded with guys trying to look like men, as if being a man means looking the way a sculptor or an art director says.

Ah, Houellebecq. I've only read him in English translations so I'm sure I'm not getting the full greatness of his work, but golly, he writes better sex scenes than anyone else alive.

Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed.

In Miss Chen's English class, we learned, 'To be or not to be...' but there's a big gray area in between. Maybe in Shakespeare times people only had two options. Griffin Wilson, he knew that the SATs were just the gateway to a big lifetime of bullshit. To get married and college. To paying taxes and trying to raise a kid who's not a school shooter. And Griffin Wilson knew drugs are only a patch. After drugs, you're always going to need more drugs.

An airplane is just so many rows of people sitting and all going in the same direction a long ways off the ground. Going to New York's a lot the way I imagine going to Heaven would be.

A tiger can smile A snake will say it loves you Lies make us evil

If people thought you were dying they gave you their full attention.

It's the last frontier to conquer, other people, strangers, the jungle of their arms and legs, hair and skin, the smells and moans that is everybody you haven't done. The great unknowns. The last forest to devastate. Here's everything you've only imagined.

It's only after you've lost everything that you're truly free to do anything.

She says that the problem with passive people is that they force you to take action. After that, they hate you for it.

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.'' The space monkey continues, ''Our culture has made us all the same. No one is truly white or black or rich, anymore. We all want the same. Individually, we are nothing

Nothing offers better public relations fodder than something you can rescue and love intensively for a month and then be filmed burying at a lavish funeral.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time

Flecked and blotched with the stains of decomposition, the linen would trace a rambling journey in which everything you love falls apart.

I just want to die, says Mr. K, and have everything be happy and painless. Forever.

The same as if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, you realize, if no one had been there to witness the agony of Christ, would we be saved? The key to salvation is how much attention you get. How high a profile you get. Your audience share. Your exposure. Your name recognition. Your press following.

You young people, you who think you invented fun and drugs, fuck you

And another thing," he cautioned me, "don't use a lot of commas. People hate sentences with lots of commas. Keep your sentences short. Readers like short sentences.