Quotes from Dick Van Dyke

I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired.

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show business. I didn't move in show business circles, particularly, still don't do it.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot about life from Carl.

I went from my mother to my wife. And to this day, I can't bear to be alone.

I love musicals, but I find it's just so deadening. You know, 30 takes, you do a little piece here and a little piece there. There's hours and hours of waiting. And to me, that's as far away from real performance as you can get.

Every morning I have something to do, I'm better off. It's bad to get up and not have something to do.

Dick Martin was a good buddy, and he was always a lot of fun to have around.

Rob Petrie is who I really am - in personality and general ineffectiveness.

When I auditioned for 'Bye Bye Birdie' on Broadway, Gower Champion said, 'You've got the job!' I said, 'Mr. Champion, I can't dance.' He said, 'We'll teach you what you need to know.'

The years have been just full of surprises for me, and a lot of fun.

I never wanted to be an actor and to this day I don't. I can't get a handle on it. An actor wants to become someone else. I am a song-and-dance man and I enjoy being myself, which is all I can do.

It's more in my nature to be optimistic, I think. I'm one of those people who gets up on the right side of the bed in the morning.

I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind.

I think that's the answer to a good marriage. Everyone has their own room.

I never made a good movie.

People think I'm talking like I'm in perfect health, but I have all the infirmities for my age. I have arthritis and all those things. But if you keep moving, that won't bother you.

There are people with their iPads are taking pictures so much that they're not experiencing the moment. They go home and look at the pictures later.

I never even had a bachelorhood: I went straight from my parents' home to a marriage.

Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.

We should never judge a day by its weather.

For some reason, as time gets short in life, wasting time escaping through entertainment bothers me.

When you're a kid, you lay in the grass and watch the clouds going over, and you literally don't have a thought in your mind. It's purely meditation, and we lose that.