Quotes from Eddie Griffin

People are people no matter where the hell you go. People still want to find relationships, fall in and out of love... that's what I've noticed as I've travelled around the world.

You know, if James Brown is the godfather of soul then Richard Pryor is the godfather of comedy, period. That man knocked down all those last freedom of speech doors.

I was born black in this country. Trust me, I've seen the government.

You know what TV is? It's 22 minutes of selling soap.

After my first 'One Night Stand' on HBO, I lost my focus. I was mad at the world. I would have meetings with directors and agents and cuss them out. I was a hothead.

Even the brokest Saudi got a Mercedes.

Of course, I like Miami. What's not to like?

One night I went to this comedy club and paid a hard-earned $5 to get in, and every comic that came up was dry as an old turkey wishbone, as in not even close to being funny. When you're broke and you pay $5 to see somebody, you want them to be funny.

They are trying to lock up as many of us up as possible to put us in penitentiaries for free labor. You have the government paying private prisons to feed and clothe each inmate, turning it into a damn business. And African Americans are set up for getting arrested.

When you watch CNN, you see the custom graphics - 'War in the Desert,' or 'Showdown: Iraq,' and it's being presented like a TV show, like 'The Cosby Show' or 'Roseanne.'

When I'm telling jokes, I'm constantly in motion. I can't stand in one place.

I grew up watching 'The Jeffersons' and 'Good Times' as much as I watched The Mary Tyler Moore Show' and 'All in the Family.'

One plus one equals three. When a man and woman marry they become one never two.

Austin Powers' is a huge success. If we get half of those numbers we will be elated. I think this film is more an 'Austin Powers' meets 'Shaft.' But, 'Undercover Brother' is totally unique.

Getting on stage doing standup anytime is hard. You never know what you're going to say. You live and die on your next word.

I think men are afraid to say that they would love to have Michelle Obama in their bed, but they think it.

If there are things that are off limits, why would you do standup?

We went to open-mike night at a comedy club called Stanford & Sons and the comics were terrible. My cousin dared me to get up there and, well, he was challenging my manhood. I had to do it.

Malcolm and Eddie Show,' a lot of other people came and went, but Malcolm and Eddie were steady on the case.

Stereotypes start somewhere. There's different sides to all of us.

Steven Segal's a cool dude. He's basically a blues man. He loves playing his guitar.

I'm one of the greatest storytellers ever.

I'm a storyteller. My whole family is storytellers. I'm just a product of my environment.

There are no 'Leave It to Beaver' families. Everybody's family's got that one nut that comes to the family reunion and you're like, OK, that guy's here.