Quotes from Ellen DeGeneres

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.

I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut upblah blah blah blah blaaaaah.

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'

One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.

The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.

All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution.

That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy.

You say you're sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I'M sick and tired of hearing about me.

Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.

I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.

I'm going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there.

Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.

I'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known as a kind person.

I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a lot; we went to open houses almost every weekend. I think that's why I always wanted a house.

I think anybody who wants to be president has to be a politician, but I would like to find somebody who's coming from a loving place instead of a political place.

Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I'm openly gay.

Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.