Quotes from Ellen DeGeneres

The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I'd like to talk about it, because my haters are my motivators.

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin, it's about knowing and accepting who you are.

What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.

I don't want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: "That's a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.

My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not

You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

What would bug a guy from the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?