Quotes from Bryan Lee O'Malley

You suck, surprising no one!!!! If bad was a boot, you'd fit it!!!! You're a stupid poo-poo head! I had sexual relations with your mother! Your mother was not that good in bed! You, sir, are a wretched soul! I am rubber, you are glue!

Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL sex.

bread makes you fat??

Fuck you fucks and the fucks you fucked in on!

I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!!

Somehow the pantsless gay man is not bringing the romance, Scott.

Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.

Are we letting her drink beer again?" "Hell yes we are, and it's hilarious.

All my stupid little thoughts beget stupid little thoughts, rampantly speculating every possible outcome of every possible situation until they're all done to death and none of them could ever be true.

I have a lot on my mind and not a lot to do so it's going to come out, all of it, and then, then, it may begin to make a sort of sense

Stephen... you know how, when a baby is first born, it just cries at the sheer horror of being alive?

Adult life is terrible, Hazel. Never grow up. Everything's complicated, and there are too many rules ...

I feel like im in this river just getting swept along... And if I hold on to anyone, if I'm holding on for dear life, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm stuck. ...I never wanted to get stuck

And sometimes I try to stop speculating the future out of existence, and other times I just lean back and run with it because maybe it's for the best.

I'm just confused. Everything's confusing. Everything beautiful is far away, or maybe everything far away is beautiful. It's like how the grass is greener on the other side. Grass just looks nicer from the other side, you know? Grass where you're standing looks like dirt with hair.

Bryan Lee O'Malley has been alive since he was born and will lives until he dies.

Kim: Hey... There's a guy over there with a samurai sword. Scott: Really? Like a katana or a wakizashi or both?

Maybe it's important to open up I people- people who are right there with you, not some thousand miles away in another universe. Or maybe it's something else. Maybe I should just settle for not knowing. Maybe it's just good to know that you're not the only one who doesn't know.

this song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called 'we hate you, please die.

I think it's natural as you get to the end of your twenties to start thinking about what you could have done differently - whether they went well or whether they went terribly.

'Seconds' is all about spaces, and I guess spaces are kind of like people in that they can be haunting and alluring before we even really get to know them, and after prolonged exposure, they can become mundane or oppressive.

'Monkey Island 2' was a huge game for me. It kind of taught me all about comedy.

I've had so many little ideas I've written down here and there. Some ideas I've got reams of notes for.

I don't really have a metaphor for how I write, but it kinda feels like chipping away at a big dark object that I can't really see.