Quotes from Jean Kerr

Life with Mary was like being in a telephone booth with an open umbrella-no matter which way you turned, you got it in the eye.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he _becomes_ polite.

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

Dearer to me than the evening star A Packard car A Hershey bar Or a bride in her rich adorning Dearer than any of these by far Is to lie in bed in the morning

the real menace in dealing with a 5-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a 5-year-old.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Hoffnung ist das Gefühl, dass das Gefühl, das du hast, nicht ewig dauert

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

'Lunch Hour' is suitable for a teenager.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.