Quotes from Jean Kerr

Affairs have been going on since Tolstoy.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

I'm not so sure it's so civilized to be civilized all the time.

Real men don't do pickup lines just to sweep off every girls' feet. They do and trust their own instincts knowing what the girls' wants and needs. Vying to win their hearts.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

I have two trifling ambitions in the theater: to make a lot of people laugh and to make a lot of money.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

I'm tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?

I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it.

A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

It takes at least one to make a marriage.

I know what I wish Ralph Nader would investigate next. Marriage. It's not safe, it's not safe at all.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales', they don't necessary think of chairs.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else.

I'm congenitally vague.

I will read anything rather than work.