Quotes from Pat Paulsen

As I've always said: The future lies ahead.

A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?

I don't need adult supervision.

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.

I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.

Should we continue to spend billions to subsidize foreign military dictatorships, or should we concentrate on taking better care of the one we have right here at home?

I think I'd make a pretty good president, and they have a great pension plan.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

Will I obliterate national debt? Sure, why not?

If elected, I will win.

I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.

Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.

I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.

Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'

I like to pour my wines for people. I watch their eyes, I can see what they'll like. Most people say they don't like dry wine because they haven't had a dry wine that's clean and fruity, instead of a big, oaky thing.

Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'

The Clinton Administration has turned out to be a boon. I knew that he would be wonderful, I just knew it from the beginning. From Arkansas? Shoot.