Quotes from Craig Kilborn

It's fun being creative and that's satisfying.

People who go into show business are screwed up.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'

They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger.

President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.

Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.

There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he's confused, 'Can I take credit for good news that I didn't even make up?'

Broadcasting was something, I don't want to say it came easy, but it's something I'm comfortable doing.

I don't complain.

I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.

Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

I enjoyed retirement the right way... linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.

I learned at an early age that using the third person will push some buttons.

I pride myself on being down-to-earth. I'm from the Midwest. People who go into show business are screwed up. I romanticized about having a serene life.

In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

I thought late-night was crowded... the format's repetitive.

President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.'

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!

I used to make fun of young people when I was 17 - the angst, the insecurities, all those tattoos.