Quotes from Mort Sahl

If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.

You haven't lived until you've died in California

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.

You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.

I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.

The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on. *1958

The bravest thing that men do is love women.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

I don't think fascism is dying for.

I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.

Mort Sahl, while attending a preview of Otto Preminger's film Exodus, stood up and called out, "Otto, let my people go!

I found people looked better when they laughed

I took a course at Cal once called Statistical Analysis. And there was a guy in the course who used to make up all of his computations and he never used Sigma. He used his own initials. 'Cause he was the standard deviation.

Comedians have to challenge the power. Comedians should be dangerous and devastating - and funny. That's the hardest part.

Everything I say is actual, not factual