Quotes from Tina Fey

If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

When I was really young, I loved the movie 'White Christmas' - I still do - and I thought Rosemary Clooney was so pretty. When I was, like, nine, I would tell people, 'You know who I kind of look like? Rosemary Clooney.'

You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?

What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.

You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.

Boyhood proves that there's still good roles for women over 40, as long as you get hired when you're under 40.

I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.

Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.

For most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us, unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back. The whole thing is a disaster.

Doing one movie every two years is about all I can handle 'cause, being the creator at '30 Rock', my year there starts in the middle of June and goes back around until March.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do

Studies show rectal thermometers are still the best way to take a baby's temperature. Plus, it really shows them who's boss.

Some people say, Never let them see you cry." I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.

Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you're the boss. Or they won't. Who cares? Do your thing, and don't care if they like it.

You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.