Quotes from Joe R. Lansdale

It was always dark in my daydreams

The water pushed at us like a thug wanting our lunch money.

the wipers beating at the rain like a fool waving in a parade.

Well, we're tough," Leonard said. "Ain't nobody tough enough in the end," Reba said.

I could see her navel. It was a nice navel. I'd have licked champagne or chocolate out of that navel. Fact was, I might have licked pond water out of it if that's what she had in it.

Nell'invecchiare – e, in realtà, non è che sia poi così vecchio: neanche arrivo ai sessanta – scopro che per me il passato ha più importanza del presente. Non sarà un bene, però è la verità. All'epoca, tutto era ben più intenso. Il sole era più caldo. Il vento più fresco. I cani più svegli.

I thought about Hanson. I wanted to be mad at him, but he hadn't done anything but respond to what was there to respond to. Hell, I liked the big bastard. Really. He was a swell guy. I just hoped his dick would fall off.

We took what came the way it came. Least it was that way on the surface. You scratched us a little, though, you could find some jelly there pretty quick. We were the kind that found it hard to cry, but once we got started you best be ready for high water and the loading of animals two by two.

I often told myself I didn't mind aging, but now I found myself constantly wishing I was young and that I could do it all over again, and differently.

Our history was by then nothing but rocks, some scratches in the dirt, some huts, fuzzy memories passed on carelessly from the old to the young. Bottom line, we were pretty ignorant and there was a flea problem.

A moment later, she and The Little Guy disappear into the trees. I didn't know exactly what was going on. I thought maybe she was going to eat him in privacy, because it had crossed my mind to do just that. There wouldn't have been a lot of preparation and very little hair to spit out. Just swing him by the feet, whack him on a rock, and a hot dinner was served.

The sun was starting to shine bright by the time we rolled out of the yard, and while Daddy drove and tried to drink his coffee, I ate my buttered biscuit, and for the first time began to feel that I had stepped over the line of being a child, and into being a man.

Christians think you got to do good 'cause you want to go to heaven, but if you do good 'cause you want to do good and don't believe in that shit, then they figure it's the slow oven for you anyway. They like a god that's a bully, makes you want to do good 'cause he's gonna rough you up.

Somewhere, a toad farted ominously.

Your age doesn't matter," said The Big Guy, which was spoken like someone who had never fucked an old lady. I am not suggesting that I have....Oh hell. A few times, at fundraisers for charities back in the States.

Le gomme dell'auto erano così lisce che si poteva vedere quasi l'aria nelle ruote.

Probably fire and pestilence to follow, could be a plague of boils and locusts, maybe an egg and bacon shortage to top things off.

The lightning danced along the sky and sizzled among the trees, reverberated with butt-clenching snaps and crackles, and strobed briefly through the limbs and leaves.

McBride lo colpì con un pugno con tanta di quella forza che Jack credette di sentire le vite passate che smettevano di esistere;

Families is like windows with curtains. Some folks keep the curtains pulled back. Most open and close them from time to time, and some don't ever pull them back and you don't never get no look inside.

I like that. I'm all for being an empowered female badass, but I still need someone to lift heavy things off the top closet shelf.

Just give the switch a quick flick. First time I turned it on, I managed to touch the wire instead of the switch and got lit up well enough I damn near sucked my panties up through my asshole. I could taste them in my mouth.

What scared me then was what I figure makes some people religious. The sudden understanding that maybe there isn't any measurement, and that it's all up to us to decide. And no matter what you do, it only matters if you get caught, or you can live with yourself and the choices you make. It was a kind of revelation. Thinking on that made me feel cold and empty and alone.

I had felt so goddamn strong and immortal. Old age and death were as wild and improbable as some drunken story about walking across the face of a star.