Quotes from Danny DeVito

It's a first for me. It's my first nude scene.

Jersey is always with me. I was one of the lucky ones. Asbury Park is just the greatest place in the world to spend your childhood.

You have to give people permission to laugh. That's why they would always cut to the banana peel in the Laurel and Hardy movies.

I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

I developed that for a long time. I also developed 'Sugar Sweet Science' at New Line and that didn't happen. That was a boxing movie. And between all that there were a couple of other things.

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

So we see Edward as a young man on the road and he meets a giant and he brings the giant to a circus where he meets a Miss Calloway. He sees the woman of his dreams and I am the only one who knows who she is.

The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull How do you hang on to someone who won't stay And how do you get rid of someone who won't go

You have to give people permission to laugh. That's why they would always cut to the banana peel in the Laurel and Hardy movies.

A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

I don't look ahead. I'm right here with you. It's a good way to be.

In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

My parents worked their tails off, but we weren't the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor.

A lot of it revolves around food with me because a lot of my life does in a way.

Wherever I am, it's a really good feeling to have that connection to people. I love to go out to talk to people and be with folks. I don't shy away from it.

When I'm directing or producing, I like to do different kinds of stories. But you have to know what you really like, and when you do, you have to front your position.

Most men somewhere in their psyche are still dragging women around by their hair. It's terrible. I have two daughters, but even before my kids were born I always thought that it was terrible.

I have been very fortunate in my life. I have had a lot of happiness. I have a great family and I work a lot, and that's what I like to do.

I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.

I climbed like a billion stairs... its not like I can take them two at a time.