Quotes from Sherrilyn Kenyon

My father was a history professor, and my mother a housewife— She married a house?

You're not an idiot. You're just eccentric. (Selena) That's what they said about Mary Todd Lincoln. Until they locked her up. (Grace)

Yes, you do. And when you find yourself back in Kalosis in a few seconds with a wide-eyes Trates and a pissed-off Stryker, remember that I'm watching you and that the Weres are off-limits in this game. You want to fuck with Artemis, fuck with Artemis. You want to fuck with me…make out your will. (Savitar)

Oh, gah, I've been slimed. (Jericho) It's not slime. It's a baby kiss. (Delphine) It's slime. (Zarek)

They say when you're about to die, you see your entire life flash before your eyes. They lied. The only thing Nick Gautier could see flashing was Kyrian Hunter's vampire fangs.

I need dating advice. Fast...Julian, how did you meet your wife? Julian shrugged. My brother the sex god cursed me into a book for two thousand years. Grace got drunk on her birthday and summoned me out of it. Vane rolled his eyes. That's useless. Kyrian? What about you? I woke up handcuffed to Amanda. Vane could work with that. So I need to get a set of handcuffs?

See how exciting Anthropology is? He's a leading expert in ancient Greece. Now you should all change your majors so that you can ogle men like him all day long. Or better yet, uncover naked male statues. (Tory) Was that necessary? (Acheron) Hey, I live to recruit students for the department. If I can make you good for something, then by golly I'm going to do it. (Tory)

Don't be stupid, Katra. Never speak in anger and never try to force your will onto someone else. You'll never find peace in that. (Acheron)

Then why haven't you killed yourself? (Astrid) Why should I? The only enjoyment I have in my life is knowing I piss off everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. God forbid I should ever do that. (Zarek)

I have found my star. She is beauty and grace. Elegance and goodness. My laughter in winter. She is courageous and strong. Bold and tempting. Unlike any other in all the universe, and I cannot touch her. I dare not even try. Astrid or Aphrodite, she is my Circe. Only instead of changing a man into an animal she has made the animal human. I am such a fucking idiot, wanting a star I can't have. But then, all stars are beyond human reach and I'm not even human. (Zarek)

Can you take human form in daylight? (Talon) Obviously so. Ever tried to answer a phone without opposable thumbs? (Vane)

Can you keep a secret?" "Me and Tupperware, baby. We seal tight. Ain't nothing going to get out.

Not to mention, we're using you for bait. (Syn) Are you that drunk? (Nykyrian) What? I wasn't supposed to tell her that? (Syn) I'm bait? (Kiara) No, you're not bait. Ignore the alcoholic whose view of reality is distorted by his brain-damaged hallucinations. (Nykyrian)

Oh, yeah, insanity ran deep in the roots of that family tree.' (Talon)

Don't push me, princess. (Zarek) Oooo. Next thing you'll be talking like the Incredible Hulk. 'Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.' You're not scary to me, Mr. Zarek. So you can just check the attitude at the door and play nice while you're here. (Astrid) If you want nice, baby, play with your fucking dog. When you're ready to play with a man, then call me. (Zarek)

If you or one of the blind fools who follows you honestly believe you can...bring it on. I'm in the mood for Slaughter. Killing and Murder, too. ~ Jericho a.k.a. Cratus

You know I can't go out there. There's daylight outside. (Ravyn) Well, that's what happens when the big yellow ball comes up over the mountains. Amazing isn't it? (Susan)

Do y'all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug) Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is that for someone who owns the biggest gun store in town? Of course I got plenty. I got enough Tasers to light up New York City AND Boston just for giggles. (Bubba)

If wishes were horses, even beggars would ride. (Dark-Hunter)

Baby, it's either laugh or cry and crying takes way too much energy. If you can't find humor in the shit life heaps on you, you really will grow miserable. (Syn)

What is that smell? (Nick) (It was like three-day-old cat vomit mixed with rotten asparagus.) Duck urine. It keeps the zombies from thinking I'm human. (Mark) Yeah, well it keeps me from thinking you're sane. (Nick)

Nick: How? Are you a vampire or something? What made you immortal? Acheron: Real good DNA.

I'm sorry. (Valerius) It's okay. We all have scars. I'm just lucky most of mine are on the outside. (Tabitha)

1. Replace upstairs hall bathroom lightbulb. 2. Get online and research Ferragamo shoes, then email someone named Kell to see if he could convert Ferragamos into weapons. 3. Order a replacement coat for the one that was torn. (see closet for coat) Make sure it matches exactly. 4. Wash Cars. 5. Take out trash for Rosa 6. Most important, don't bitch.