Quotes from Colin Mochrie

I do enjoy working with Ryan although he owes me money.

The American audiences are more vocal and enthusiastic. British audiences tend to sit back a little more.

My god! It's a hamster with explosives taped around it's waist!

My agent, Jeff Andrews, suggested I write a book. For some reason. he doesn't like it when I'm not doing anything.

Comedy is such a personal thing. Everybody can cry at the same thing, but it's a lot harder to get everyone to laugh at the same thing.

Let me play a Man in a scene.

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Barbra Streisand, Bruce Springsteen, these are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used their songs.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

As I get older, I'm trying to accept improvisation into my day-to-day living.

Why are there so many trees in the jungle?

I'm quite shy. Really. I'm trying to expand myself as a person more, get involved with people.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.