Quotes from Vermin Supreme

The police represent the authority of the state, the willingness of the state to use violence to assert their will.

A vote for me is a vote completely thrown away.

The more ties you wear, the higher rank you are.

I'm just a regular guy.

Tom Brady should be a heartbeat away from the presidency, and that heartbeat should be mine.

When I was younger, it was very easy to ignore me because I was like some crazy hippie kid. But as I've gotten older, and I'm more gray and more lines on my face, it has given me a lot more gravitas.

I'm the only candidate that will fund time-travel research.

My involvement in politics was always to be the prankster and show the silliness of the situation.

As a social anarchist, I believe that capitalism itself is an inherently exploitative hierarchical situation - you do have a boss, you do have somebody in charge.

I have never intentionally been out to alienate anybody.

I've scrubbed many, many landmarks. I scrubbed the Kremlin back in '98. We had a mandatory-toothbrushing parade; we had the text of the mandatory-toothbrush law translated into Russian. And we had like 30 Russians; we had musicians; we had the giant toothbrushes. The police came and told us to stop, and we stopped.

In a scholarly manner I have made it a habit to collect different crowd-control manuals, and I read them to the police sort of reminding them of basic tenants of crowd control, such as minimum use of force to effect an arrest. I tell... the police that they may have been put in a dangerous situation by their superiors.

One of the most important things about using a bullhorn is you don't have to yell over it.

Yes I am a politician - I will promise you anything your little electorate heart desires - because you are my constituents, you are the informed voting public, and because I have no intention of keeping any promise that I make.

As a rule, I feel more comfortable on the Republican slate.

Once every American has a pony then I can - by fiat, executive order or something like that - dismantle the federal government with a snap of my magic fingers.

I am a beacon of hope to a vast number of young people and others who are still disillusioned and disgusted with the system.

I believed I paved the way for Donald Trump. I brought ridiculousness to politics and he saw an opening and just jumped on in there.

When you create Hope in people, you create expectations. When you do not fulfill those expectations, when the change becomes more of the same old, same old, the Hope that was created can only turn to anger, frustration and bitter disappointment.

Well, mutual aid is a very critical and important thing. For a while, I was saying libertarians have no souls, but I promised them I wouldn't if they hammered home the importance of mutual aid.

I'm a tyrant that you should trust, and you should let me run your life, because I do know what is best for you.

Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough.

My neighbors know who I am and what I do, but they like me for who I am.

I think the important thing to understand about the free pony program is, of course, it is an absolutely free pony program, uh, there may be some incidental costs involved with pony social security or universal pony health care or the haystamp program so ponies won't starve in the streets.