Quotes from Daniel Handler

The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!

Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.

Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.

Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.

You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window washers. But you can't invent more time.

Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, "The world is quiet here," as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.

Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.

It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with.

It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.

It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world

I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time.

Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.

Every problem has a solution. Sometimes it just takes a long time to find the solution - even if it's right in front of your nose.

One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.

I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in a bookstore together. I like to receive reference books on my birthday.

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.

I stand entwined in fire on the inextinguishable bonfire of inconceivable love.

the mind has a thousand eyes, and the heart has one:yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done.

I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone.

Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junk mail.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.

Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.

It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable.