Quotes from Daniel Handler

He sat on benches and tried to get in a spooky mood.

It is natural, this heartbreak which arrives first when you are young and never leaves your house no matter where you move, but still everyone wants the kid to stop the fussing and shut up.

This was like going grocery shopping and quitting the peas.

This was, for me, the crucial lesson of middle school and one for the rest of life: that one can protest, fight, and win against injustice, but that those in power will just change the circumstance rather than concede the argument.

After a certain age you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.

Is it really possible to quit, and step out of a car that's taking you someplace terrible?

You can say something and say something, but still nobody wants to hear it.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.

I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.

I think books that are meant to be read in the nighttime ought to confront the very fears that we're trying to think about.

Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.

Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies

Stop saying no offense," I said, "when you say offensive things. It's not a free pass.

I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.

I'd ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.

I'm telling you why we broke up, Ed. I'm writing this letter, the whole truth of why it happened. And the truth is that I goddamn loved you so much.

There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he's the one, of course it was a dream, of course she's dead, of course, it's hidden right there, of course it's the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.

How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed makes you kissable, like feeling warm makes you coffee, like liking movies makes you a director. How utterly incorrect to think it any other way, a box of crap is treasures, a boy smiling means it, a gentle moment is a life improved.

the moron who thought love was forever.

You either have the feeling or you don't.