Quotes from Daniel Handler

Anybody might get drunk at the first intrrview.

Maybe, Gwen said, instead of yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

Gwen didn't have to ask about the Fall. It happened to all old people, the Fall. They fell and then everything changed[...]They fell and never quite got up again.

I am. Trying, I'm trying it. But he means something else. I'm trying it like, you find a coin on the table and you spin it for no reason but to see it happen. He's trying it like medical school, because maybe he'll grow up to be a doctor.

Right now I have the suspicion that the ace of diamonds is trapped forever, face down, beneath the king of diamonds, which is sneering at me like Juror Number Five, and my whole life feels like a similar misshuffle.

A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says. She walks down the streets and the storefronts look the same, even as we linger on their flickering reflections. The cars move quickly, slowly, quickly down the block. She gets coffee and says it tastes different, quitely, to herself.

Te quise y ahora te devuelvo tus cosas, las saco de mi vida igual que a ti.

Lo que sucede con los deseos del corazón es que tu corazón ni siquiera sabe lo que desea hasta que lo tiene enfrente.

Ahora solo queda este mal vestigio del nuestro que te recuerdo con tinta cada vez más descolorida. Es como si nunca hubiéramos tenido nada.

I guess I already loved you then. Doomed like a wineglass knowing it'll get dropped someday, shoes that'll be scuffed in no time, the new shirt you'll soon enough muck up filthy.

Most of those people won't meet my eyes, now, but I'm not one of them. Every morning I get up, and while brushing my teeth, look at my showered self, calmly foaming at the mouth.

If you are going to take a lifelong journey with somebody, you can't mind if the other person believes they are leaving for that journey an hour earlier than you.

Don't break my heart just yet, or ask me to lose my reverie on the sticky floor... let me believe I'm the guy they all paid to watch all big and mighty, in the dark where I guess I belong.

Y comencé a hacer planes, pensando que llegaríamos tan lejos.

Nobody keeps score, because there's no sense in keeping track of what everyone is doing.

This teaching job did not pay a lot of money, because, let's face it, nobody gives a flying fuck about education

Why is there mean, when there are better things than mean, love particularly?

Even with the right boy I'd wreck it," I said. "I'd join the navy on impulse and sail off right when he needed me, or we'd have a baby and I'd accidentally put it in my purse. The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights. I know they're the wrong boys and I just go to them.

It's one thing to forgive yourself a mistake. But if you knew it was a mistake at the time, how do you forgive yourself then?

You either have a feeling or you don't - Min

This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it's time to go. You don't care about yours.

Love-is this something we can learn to do again, and if so, when will that time arrive, even on a bad day? When do you know when something is becoming something that changes you?

Where's my money? I'm very angry because I believe I am owed some money which you are preventing me from obtaining

He had seen himself naked and so had quite a few other people, although some of them do not remember.