Quotes from Daniel Handler

One narrative, about the hated people in our lands, is that eventually they get what is coming to them.

A girl's bag is an abandoned warehouse. Stupid people in horror movies are the only ones to venture in.

Ed, así éramos nosotros, Al y yo. Nunca lo entendiste y yo nunca te conté realmente cómo funcionaba. La madre de Al nos comparó una vez con un viejo matrimonio y se rió cuando Al dijo:Bueno, mamma, tú debes de saberlo.

Nobody knows why men do things.

You have to love the whole person, if you are truly in love. If you are going to take a lifelong journey with somebody, you can't mind if the other person believes they are leaving for that journey an hour earlier than you, as long as truly, in the real world, you are both leaving at exactly the same time.

Who can I complain to, if I don't like the shape of the globe?

Phil Needle stood in the parking lot, suddenly grasping that this was so, that nothing is lost in a world utterly mapped, that nothing is rogue with everything cross-pollinated, as the shouts on the beach lured him across the street to the sand.

Another song," Allison says. "The one by that band, from when I was in high school, that saved my life the way songs do.

I guess it's funny how life turns out? she tried. Not last I checked, Errol said with a snort.

I started making plans, thinking we would get that far

But more often the woman was alone and would walk around naked for some reason, neither beautiful enough nor ugly enough to make sense.

You don't say," Helena said. She took a cigarette out of her ripped purse and lit it because she smoked. She was a smoker.

How many happy people do you think there are in the world? Twelve?

Foi por isso que a gente acabou, Ed, por uma coisinha pequena que sumiu ou quem sabe nunca tenha estado de verdade nas minhas mãos

This is what happens. You meet people who are in pain, in life and love, and you forgive them for behaving the way they do.

For every girl I thought I was uncomplicated sex, it wasn't. Put it this way: if you can't see the complication, you're probably it.

And it wasn't just us. It wasn't just that we were high school, me a junior and you a senior, with our clothes all wrong for restaurants like this, too bright and too rumpled and too zippered and too stained and too slapdash and awkward and stretched and trendy and desperate and casual and unsure and baggy and sweaty and sporty and wrong.

I'm very happy for you guys. I heard my voice, so false it was all the statues could do to keep themselves from rolling their eyes.

History is written by the winners

The street was a yellow streak, however many yards wide, cabs and cabs and cabs and the occasional car that wasn't a cab so the whole thing looked like a scarcely-been-touched ear of corn.

Fucking delish, I don't care if it's a faggy word, oops, sorry, no offense, sorry again. [i]Delish! Criminy![/i] This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

You know I want to be a directos, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.

The flames rose bright on everyone's screens, flickering lipstick red and traffic-cone orange and Lord knows what else, depending on how your television's colour was.

Phillip Murray and Wanda Saxton meet in the last scene under the rainy awning, their wrong wife and fiance finally story-lined away, and walk out together into the downpour - we know from the first scene, Christmas eve, that both of them like walking in the rain but don't have anybody who will do it with them - and it's the miracle of the ending.