Quotes from Daniel Handler

There was a noise above us like an airplane zoom, but it was getting too dark to see. People started laying on the horn, braying like bad geese in a panic. I am here, Lila said with a trembly smile. Our driver's ed teacher had told us that's what the horn should mean. Not Move along, buddy or I am displeased but I am here. I am here, I am here, I am here!

I was so angry I knew it would boomerang someplace sometime soon.

Another gift, another secret, another time to lean in and kiss me.

I couldn't wait to see then again, beautiful things. Extraordinary.

Love is this sudden crash in your path, quick and to the point, and nearly always it leaves someone slain on the green.

No, when you love someone you spend hours and hours with them, and even the mightiest forces in the netherworld could not say whether the hours you spend increase your love or if you simply spend more hours with someone as your love increases.

All the deaths are dead for nothing but you're not dead at all.

After all, I was only eighteen then. I'm almost twenty now. I learned lots about narrative structure in my Honors English classes so I know what I'm doing.

Ni siquiera lo había estado buscando, no a ti, y ahora eras lo que mi corazón deseaba.

He thought she knew what he meant, but the biggest mistake you can make is thinking they know what you mean.

Come on in, I said again, and he came on in and I hugged him. I felt his arms, warm through the linen. Suddenly there was a reason to leave the house and see other humans, because some of them were good.

A nice thing about children's books, though I'm probably alone in this opinion among other people who write and publish them, is that they did get to be in this unrecognized ghetto for a long time.

I'm alone. There's a poem in that, but I don't want to write it. I don't want to be someone who spends Saturday night alone at home, writing poems about being alone.

Afernadome a un chico que todo el mundo sabe que es un tarado, un bastardo, un imbecil y un cabron

You know how the nurses started asking me to rate my pain one to ten? I just started giving them random numbers. You can't get to ten, I told the one with those earrings I want to yank out. You can't get to ten because someone might slap you and that would hurt more.

I saw myself, clearly, a scorned woman drunk and angry at a party. Hell hath no fury etc.

Love makes the world go round, the hit songs collectively tell us, and the world is full of people you don't know and might as well be nice to because they won't leave.

The miracle is the adverbs. The way things are done.

This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed this over. This unites us, this part of love.

When you're at sea, Gwen would probably reply, it's not food. It's fuel, for further exploits. So the exploit fuels the next exploit, and the next the next, and so on? Is there nothing more, nothing else? Is there ever?

Que si está bien no ser virgen, sí. La mayoría de la gente no lo es, Min. Para empezar, por eso existe la gente.

I'd ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.

To stop staring at you, I kept fiddling with the sugar until you stopped my hand with yours.

I thought it was one thing but it was the other, it was zero zero zero alone on the bus while you slept in the room I had to leave, and that's why we broke up.