Quotes from Daniel Handler

and then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. "Love this song," Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio...

There were a million things, everything, I didn't know. I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy. I took this thing I'm giving you back, this thing you gave me as the star we were waiting for finally emerged.

It's one thing for forgive yourself a mistake. But if you knew it was a mistake at the time, how do you forgive yourself then?

You can't mind these things, you just can't, for to dislike what makes a person human is to dislike all humans.

I was too jitterbuggy happy to sleep, and the whole day kept playing in my brain's little screening room.

The matches were a little 'he loves me, he loves me not,' but then I saw right on the box that I had twenty-four, which would end the game at not, so I just let the small handful sparkle and puff a bit, each one a thrill, a tiny delicious jolt for each part I remembered, until I burned my finger and went back in still thinking of all we did together.

You'd think that sweet would be a land far, far away from irritating, but as it turns out they're right next door and always having border disputes.

The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.

I love you so soundly and I will do anything to drag you forward.

Temptations are like dirty dishes.  There are some who leave them alone, scarcely noticing how many have piled up.  And there are some who must do them right away.

Take them back, Ed. Here they are. Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.

I'm dumping the whole box back into your life Ed, every item of you and me. I'm dumping this box on your porch, Ed, but it's you, Ed, who is getting dumped.

We thought we had time. I waved but couldn't answer, because I was finally letting myself grin as wide as I'd wanted all afternoon, all evening, every sec of every minute with you, Ed. Shit, I guess I already loved you then.

You only love once and and then maybe not again. Not on a day like this. The rain, the rain, the rain.

Let's see where this leads us, this adventure with the thrum of the music and the blizzard of stagy snow...happy tears freezing to diamonds...let's go, let's go, hurry towards the happy ending....let's go together toward something extraordinary, and I start making plans, thinking we would get that far.

This teaching job did not pay a lot of money, because, let's face it, nobody gives a flying fuck about education, but it was a temporary position.

Call me later, you'd said, so I could call you later, at night, and it is those nights I miss you, Ed, the most, on the phone, you beautiful bastard.

All over the world are particular people, and you could be happy with probably five or six of them, eight if you're bisexual and everyone is.

The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.

Weekends and weekdays, when you knew I was looking and when you didn't even guess I was alive. Even with shiny stars bothering your head it was beautiful.

I love you. Every time you said it, you really said it. It wasn't like a sequel where Hollywood just lines up the same actors and hopes it works again. It was like a remake with a new director and crew trying something else and starting from scratch.

You have to love the whole person, if you are truly in love.

It will be a very long time before I trust you ever, ever - OK, I trust you again.

No soy diferente, en absoluto, no soy distinta a otra mota cualquiera. Soy una imperfección imperfecta, una ruina ruinosa, unos restos manchados y tan destrozados que soy incapaz de descubrir lo que era antes. No soy nada, nada de nada