Quotes from Charlie Brooker

We don't sit down and look at the news pages and think, 'How could we do an episode about that?'

Calling Batman 'the Dark Knight' is like calling Papa Smurf 'the Blue Patriarch':you're not fooling anyone.

I can't imagine voluntarily standing beside an F1 track in the rain, watching motorised wedges plastered in corporate decals zooming past at 500mph.

It must be awful, being a homophobe.

Online, you play at being yourself.

My career path is like crazy paving - it goes all over the place.

When it comes to something like Brexit, I am part of the liberal-media London bubble, and so, to me, voting to leave was madness. My perspective was that it was cutting off your nose to spite your face.

When a monk takes a vow of silence, is he still allowed to post messages on the Internet? Chances are God won't find out. Being ancient, God probably can't work computers. He holds the mouse gingerly, like it's made of fine china.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat waiters and shop assistants, especially when you are one.

If someone doesn't respond to a phone call, I think they've died.

I wanna do some more goofy comedy stuff; I really enjoyed doing 'A Touch of Cloth.'

At 16, I was drawing cartoons, and I wanted to carry on being a cartoonist.

People bemoan the loss of watercooler chat, but I think that there's more of that than ever. It's just that it's online.

Men Against Jive is a brilliant title! That's a military story, that's a difficult one to explain really because that's sort of a war... it's not just a war story.

One of the benefits of aligning yourself with an indistinct cluster of people is that claiming to feel their pain is often enough.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is a pity because this week the National Association of Beholders wrote to tell me that I've got a face like a rucksack full of dented bells.

All Pixar movies are heartbreaking, aren't they?

Apple excels at taking existing concepts - computers, MP3 players, conceit - and carefully streamlining them into glistening ergonomic chunks of concentrated aspiration.

The sole purpose of a crown is to make anyone not wearing one feel like an insignificant pauper. They're obscene to the point of satire.

I think the problem we have as apes is we're asking far bigger questions than we could possibly process.

What's odd about the selfie stick is that while it might faintly improve the photo you'll post on Facebook, it definitely makes you seem like a shallow, awful clown to any bystanders in the humdrum physical space you're posing in.

God, people say 'Black Mirror' was horrible - it's nothing compared to the stuff that happens in 'Grimms' Fairy Tales.' It's mind-bending.

The logical quandaries thrown up by well-meaning systems are clearly something that I find darkly amusing.

I never really thought of myself as a TV critic. I was presenting TV before I was writing about it.