Quotes from Penn Jillette

We are only here for a little while, and our bodies belong to ourselves and no one else.

But [he] had lost god, and all his family and friends were staying behind with his imaginary friend. A silly dream goes away and takes with it your whole real life.

For atheists, everything in the world is enough and every day is holy. Every day is an atheist holiday. It's a day that we're alive.

Life speeds by and no matter how much joy there is, there is sadness.

The greatest thing about provable reality is that by definition reality is shared. Every argument is really an agreement—an agreement that there is a reality that can be shared, judged, and discussed. To argue over whether the speed of light is constant or Batman could beat up the Lone Ranger is to share the parameters. God is solipsistic; reality is shared.

Trump tried to book Penn & Teller once in Vegas at one of his casinos, but we were priced out of his budget.

In any conflict, the crazier party generally wins.

There should be an ease and clarity to anything that's real and from the heart. Things that are true shouldn't have tricks.

Astrology is a cousin of racism.

Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.

Has any non-dipshit man ever used the word "ladies" not followed by the word "room"?

Proselytizing is a moral imperative and feeds the marketplace of ideas. I want to hear everyone tell the truth as they see it. I want to learn from everyone.

I've been told by professional drug users that if I did the drugs, I would like the Dead. It seems like the most effective PSA against drugs could just play some Dead jams and say, "If you do drugs, you will like this kind of music." What other deterrent would one need?

The nightmare of Trump is not that he doesn't care what people think; it's that he desperately cares what people think.

Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke] may not be worth the next guy's laugh.

You have no chance of scaring me with death, all the fear possible is contained in life.

The evidence shows you that two things have been true throughout mankind's history: One, things always get better. Two, people always think they're getting worse.

There is no god." I've said that sentence on Glenn Beck's TV show in front of his live audience at his studio in the Texas Bible Belt. I've told Republicans that I like immigrants. I've told Democrats that I dig rich people. I've told sane people that I like lawyers. But

Desire for something impossible does not make it less impossible.

Not only does god definitely play dice … he sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can't be seen.

even the Christian heaven is just real human hell. Add eternal to anything, even eating pussy while listening to Dylan, and you get hell.

Women do cosplay, of course, and thank god for that, but they don't go to the local coffee shop dressed as cheerleaders, fuck god for that.

chose to love my friends. I chose to love my wife. I think I even chose to love my parents as I got older. But I had no say in loving my children. The love for my children is beyond my control. It's animal. It's like hunger. It's more than hunger—there have been times I could control my hunger (although I can't remember any off the top of my head). I love my children like I need to breathe.

we don't have a twenty-letter alphabet, we have a twenty-six-letter alphabet." And then I say, "Oh, I guess I left out U R A Q T!" And then you say, "That's still only twenty-five." And I say, "I'll give you the D later.