Quotes from Spider Robinson

Just as there are laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, so there are in fact Laws of Conservation of Pain and Joy. Neither can ever be created or destroyed. But one can be converted into the other.

there's nothing in the human heart or mind, no place no matter how twisted or secret, that can't be endured - if you have someone to share it with.

Well, some men learn by listening, some read, some observe and analyze — and some of us just have to pee on the electric fence.

one of the secret masters of the world: a librarian. They control information. Don't ever p**s one off.

Shared sorrow is lessened, shared joy is increased

Sexual intercourse vests no property rights.

honesty is hard work.

And there's this place called college! I mean, they want you to care, dig it, care about this education trip, and they don't care enough themselves to make it as attractive as the crap game across the street!

I know good design when I fail to trip over it.

Mankind is divided into two basic sorts: those who find the unknown future threatening ... and those who find it thrilling. The rupture between those two sides has been responsible for most of the bloodshed in history.

We did make use, from time to time, of candles, neckties, scarves, shoelaces, a little water-color paintbrush, her hairbrush, butter, whipped cream, strawberry jam, Johnson's Baby Oil, my Swedish hand vibrator, a fascinating bead necklace she had, miscellaneous common household items, and every molecule of flesh that was exposed to air or could be located with strenuous search.

In 1971, after seven years in college, with that magic piece of paper clutched triumphantly in my fist, the best job I was able to get was night watchman on a sewer project in Babylon, N.Y. guarding a hole in the ground to prevent anyone from stealing it. God bless the American educational system!

Shared pain is lessened Shared joy is increased Thus do we refute entropy

The problems of today's youth were no longer a Sunday supplement, or a news broadcast, or anything so remote and intangible. They were suddenly become a dirty, shivering boy, who told us that in this world we had built for him with our sweat and our blood, he was not only tired of living, but so unscared of dying that he did it daily, sometimes for recreation.

Progress is something with no pity, and no purpose. It just happens. It chews up all you ever knew, and spits out things you can't understand, and the only value it seems to have is to make a few people a lot of money.

I had not until then fully realized that I was odd, that there was anything strange about growing up with a single-parent genius. I thought all homes had equations scrawled with disc-marker across all the cabinets and walls, and clean laundry in the freezer, and defrosting chicken in the tool drawer. I thought everyone read a book a day and listened to hours of ancient music.

anger is always fear in disguise

If you've lived a bad life, they send you to Hell. But if you've been truly wicked, they give you a tour of Heaven first...

Me, I have a science fiction writer's conviction that the damn robot is supposed to speak human, not the other way around.

Dreams should be forgotten when we wake. Or one day we will find ourselves unable to sleep.

Your diet must be about fifty-fifty, carrots and locoweed," Annie said softly. He froze. "I can't figure out what in the name of God's labia majora you think you're doing...but I'm impressed by how well you're doing it in the dark. You must have eyes like a cat.

it's better than a stick in the eye

It took a couple of hundred million years to develop a thinking ape and you want a smart one in a lousy few hundred thousand?

Man, you're no smarter than me. You're just a fancier kind of stupid.