Quotes from Iliza Shlesinger

I'm pale, and people need to accept that I'm almost see-through.

There's nothing 'flash in the pan' about my career. It's been built fan by fan, city by city.

I'm a huge sketch comedy fan, and I think my love of sketch is reflected in my stand-up in that I do a lot of vignettes and voices and characters.

I really respect Samantha Bee.

I was always rewarded for being funny. I liked being funny.

You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story.

Sounds are something that I always emulate - I'll walk around, and if a coffee pot goes off or a phone rings, I'll often mimic the sound. To me, everything's got a voice.

The world is a scary place. Even my mother has suggested I take a self defense class.

At a certain point, I had so much artwork that I decided to respect the art and present them in a nice way, not just on a dusty shelf.

I'm certainly not a supermodel.

Most women have jobs that require them to leave the house. A cat is actually a perfect pet. You get the love and companionship of a creature covered in fur, and you don't have to take it for a walk, and it can feed itself. Less maintenance. Surely any man can appreciate the practicality of this choice.

I always wished my dad was there to intimidate my boyfriends or something. It's supposed to be your dad giving your guys friends the stink-eye for sneaking beer through your house, not your mom.

There should be an F.A.A. fine for those who bring hot food that emits odor onto the plane. You're deemed selfish, and you have to take some sort of social awareness class.

You're never going to please 100 percent of women.

What I have found that my comedy is doing - and what really drives me - is to sort of bring women together through pointing out why we act so crazy.

I would tell my 23-year-old self to be friends with more comics.

My passion in life isn't politics. It truly is connecting to people and women.

When you travel, try having an open mind, not just about the city that you're in but about the surrounding areas.

What keeps me going is that this I all there is. I am a comedian, and this is what I do. It's like telling a fish to stop swimming. It'll die.

I was frustrated in general with the way women are always portrayed. And it's always through a man's eyes.

I get my strength from wanting to teach other women that everything about you is OK, and you shouldn't take any crap from anyone.

I'm not winning any modeling awards, I'm not a Rhodes Scholar, but I genuinely feel that if you're taking time out of your day and your energy to comment on my art, then I got your attention.

I was a huge 'Blind Date' fan, though, when I was younger; that was on when I was in high school.

You can't deny the truth. And that's what makes smart comedy so good.