Quotes from Drew Carey

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.

I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight. They help people train for things like triathlons or biking and running races. They offer physical therapists, testing, lectures.

Exercise is the main thing that helped me lose weight.

There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me.

At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know?

I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun.

Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one.

Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

Dolphin-safe tuna, that's great if you're a dolphin. What if you're a tuna? Somewhere there's a tuna flopping around a ship going, "What about me? I'm not cute enough for you?"

Jesus never put up a tree and exchanged gifts, or left cookies out for Santa. He never made a harried last-minute trip to the mall, or spent Christmas Eve cursing at a toy that he couldn't put together. He celebrated Passover. So, if you want to be more like Jesus, pass the matzo.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.

But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.

The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.