Quotes from Sarah Silverman

I'm not wanting and I don't live in a hovel, but if you keep your costs low, you can do what you want to do creatively.

I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends, and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.

I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.

Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.

I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.

I'm not the marrying type, but I always want to be with someone who is a fan.

I love going to weddings. And I love it when my friends get married. I'm not against marriage but it's just not for me. I'm a vegetarian, but I don't have a problem if you want a hamburger.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated

Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world.

Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.

The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.

I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.

As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under a rock.

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.

I never defend my material. Comedy is subjective.

I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.

If I have kids, I'll adopt.

You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.

You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it.

You can be Hitler and go to confession and say forgive me, Father, I killed six million Jews, and the priest would just be like no problem. Say 10 Heil Marys. And Hitler goes to heaven.

Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a dream, too.