Quotes from Tom Robbins

What if the Christ and the Messiah come, and they're two different guys?

Naked, she lay sprawled on her side like a shipwrecked cello.

People are never perfect, but love can be. Loving makes perfect. Loving makes itself. Wouldn't that be the way to make love stay?

Unhappiness is the ultimate form o' self-indulgence.

Kudra had awakened him from a long sleep. No, that was false, he hadn't been asleep at Samye, he had been in a state of heightened awareness, but there is a sense in which awareness can be as stagnating as sloth.

Freedom has long proven too heady an elixir for America's masses, weakened and confused as they are by conflicting commitments to puritanical morality and salacious greed.

It is dullness and not evil that begets totalitarianism.

If he weren't a stick his own self, I'd say he had a stick up his butt.

In Bokonon, it is written that "peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.

Tunnel vision is caused by an optic fungus that multiplies when the brain is less energetic than the ego.

Plants and animals are even more comfortable with death. It is the natural end. But man by his nature is an unnatural animal. If any creature stands a chance of defeating death, it is man.

She lunched on papaya poo poo or mango mu mu or some other fruity foo foo bursting with overripe tropical vowels.

There is light underwater, even at night, but it is a far cry from the lights that we all know and love... the light by which the reaper reads his list.

She had only the slimmest notion of what he meant, but his voice made her so horny she could barely keep from squirming, crossing her legs, or hopping about, like a little girl who had to go to the bathroom. On

In order to tame death, they refuse to completely enjoy life. In rejecting complete enjoyment, they are half-dead in advance - and that with no guarantee that their sacrifice will actually benefit them when all is done.

There have been cans of dog food more splendiferous than South Richmond. Land mines more tender.

Sissy dear. Your thumbs. HOLLYWOOD SPECTACULAR. LAS VEGAS. THE ROSE BOWL. Larger than any one man's desire.

the will to live cannot be overestimated as a stimulant to longevity.

Outlaws are not members of society. However, they may be important to society.

The moon can't help it. It's only a fat dumb object, the pumpkin of the sky. The moon's a mess, to tell the truth. A burnt-out cinder the color of dishwater; a stale gray cookie covered with scars. Every loose rock in our solar system has taken a punch at it. It's been scorched, golf-clubbed, and inflicted with boils. If lovers have chosen this brutalized derelict, this tortured dustball, this pitted and pimpled parcel of wasteland as the repository of their dreams, the moon can't help it.

Once, Princess Leigh-Cheri used a papal candlestick for the purpose of self-gratification. She had hoped that at the appropriate moment she might be visited by either the Lamb or the Beast, be, as usual, only Ralph Nader attended her.

Claude believed that only smart, attractive people had the right to fuck, and it sincerely hurt him when he discovered evidence to the contrary.

If you lack the iron and the fizz to take control of your own life, if you insist on leaving your fate to the gods, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense.

Oh, never trust a country That won't permit live poultry to ride on the bus.