Quotes from Tom Robbins

I tell you, that switch from B.C. to A.D. must have driven people nuts. I bet more than a few Israelites missed their dental appointments.

the greatest geniuses pee and poop just like the rest of us, but that in no way suggests that we are even remotely their creative equal, except perhaps in the confines of the toilet.

his wife, it seems, would very soon be excorting his sister to a certain clinic near New Delhi, where she might die with the grace and ease that every being deserves, and for which purpose God-or Mother Nature if you prefer-surely put the opium poppy on earth.

If you lack the iron and the fizz to take control of your own life, if you insist on leaving your fate to the gods, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense. Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you find yourself docked.

Should a person possess a heart that is as light as a feather, then that person is granted immortality.

You can hook a rainbow to a goofy vision -Jellybean is doing that- but you can't hook a rainbow to a lie

Was he becoming paranoid? No. At least not when compared to Skeeter Washington, who, admiring the stars one evening on the deck of Poe's boat, was heard to say, If the universe be expanding, they gotta be something chasing it.

Hope springs eternal and all that, yet isn't it a fact that when we give up and quit hoping; genuinely, sincerely quit hoping, things usually change for the better? Zen masters say that when we become convinced that the human situation is hopeless, we approach serenity, the ideal state of mind.

Leigh-Cheri knew better than to jump to conclusions on a Sunday.

Wasn't it made clear that civilization is not an end in itself but a theater or gymnasium in which the evolving individual finds facilities for practice?

Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer. The

Everywhere a buffalo fell," said Switters, "a monster sprang up in its place.

for while we must go forever in despair, let us also go forever in the enjoyment of the world.

The argument is irrelevant, for at the higher levels, science and art are the same. There is a point where high science transcends the technologic and enters the poetic, there is a point where high art transcends technique and enters the poetic.

There are those who have condemned Leary as a liar, a sellout, an opportunist, and most of all, a raging egomaniac; but the truth is, he was simply Irish.

Pastor of the Warsaw Baptist Church, Dr. Peters was tall, gaunt, and pale, with a weak damp smile and cold damp palms: shaking his hand was like being forced to grasp the flaccid penis of a hypothermic zombie.

the concert had energized me in a peculiar and powerful way. It had jimmied the lock on my language box and smashed the last of my literary inhibitions.

Girl, I'd warn you that God Almighty's goin' to strike you dead, exceptin' I been warnin' your mama that for years, and he in his infinite mercy has so far seen fit to withhold his lightnin'.

Reality is subjective, and there's an unenlightened tendency in this culture to regard something as 'important' only if 'tis sober and severe.

Half Asleep in Frogg pajamas.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

wasn't crying. I've had a bad day. Another one. One in a series of bad days. I'm not complaining. Bad days are my bag. They're time-consuming, however, and I'm a busy girl.

The trip left the girl gaga, goofy, tainted, transformed, her nose a busted hymen through which sperm of a thousand colors swam a hootchy-kootchy stroke into her cerebral lagoon.

Carelessness is a weakness that isn't tolerated in this order," he says in a voice that the average housewife would have to take out of the freezer at two in the afternoon if she wanted it thawed in time for supper.