Quotes from Gretchen Rubin

The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. If you do new things—visit a museum for the first time, learn a new game, travel to a new place, meet new people—you're more apt to feel happy

Scheduling makes us far more likely to convert an activity into a habit (well, except for Rebels), so for that reason, I schedule even some slightly ridiculous habits, such as "Kiss Jamie every morning and every night." Habits grow strongest and fastest when they're repeated

the "Hawthorne effect," in which people being studied improve their performance, simply because of the extra attention they're getting. In

Consistency, repetition, no decision—this was the way to develop the ease of a true habit.

We should make sure the things we do to feel better don't make us feel worse.

We often learn most about ourselves by learning about other people

In one study, when subjects made a shopping list for what they'd eat in a week, more chose a healthy snack instead of an unhealthy snack; when asked what they'd choose now, more people chose the unhealthy over the healthy snack.

A regular work schedule can help procrastinators because progress and engagement relieve their anxiety.

For this reason, it's often worthwhile to invest in systems of accountability. A chief benefit of fitness trainers, financial planners, life coaches, executive coaches, personal organizers, and nutritionists, in addition to their expertise, is the accountability they provide. For Obligers, most of all, this kind of external accountability is absolutely essential.

It's easy to assume that we "should" undertake a particular clutter-clearing task. When we're very clear about why we're doing it, it's easier to use our time and energy productively—and also to recognize success.

Like Dr. Johnson, I'm an Abstainer: I find it far easier to give up something altogether than to indulge moderately. And this distinction has profound implications for habits.

If we all wore sandwich boards that listed bullet points of the main things we're dealing with," he said, "all of us would be so much more empathetic, would understand where people are coming from, and would be able to connect in a way we don't." It's crucial to remember that our sensory world isn't everyone's sensory world.

know how happy I am when one of them is very happy. How happy I was to

In other words, habits eliminate the need for self-control.

These couples ease into arguments instead of blowing up immediately—and avoid bombs such as "You never . . ." and "You always . . .

Novelist Jean Rhys observed, "One is born either to go with or to go against.

Habit makes it dangerously easy to become numb to our own existence. For

We manage what we monitor.

Sprinters call Marathoners "plodding," and Marathoners call Sprinters "irresponsible," but there's no right way. Procrastinators, however, are happier when they change their work habits to work more steadily.

I remind myself, Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. (Cribbed from Voltaire.) A twenty-minute walk that I do is better than the four-mile run that I don't do. The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer. The dinner party of take-out Chinese food is better than the elegant dinner that I never host.

In The Levity Effect, Adrian Gostick and Scott Christopher argue that "levity" is a highly effective tool for helping people to work better; humor helps people pay attention, eases tensions, and enhances a feeling of connection.

This self-knowledge is crucial because we can build a happy life only on the foundation of our own nature, our own interests, and our own values.

If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.        Over-the-counter

Overbuyers, by contrast, find excuses to buy. They accumulate large quantities of office supplies or kitchen gadgets or travel paraphernalia with the thought "This will probably come in handy someday." When trying to shape a habit, overbuyers tend to load up on equipment or services that they imagine will help them keep their good habits.