Quotes from Gretchen Rubin

By catching ourselves in the act of invoking a loophole, we give ourselves an opportunity to reject it, and stick to the habits that we want to foster.

Mindfulness brings many benefits: scientists point out that it calms the mind and elevates brain function, it gives clarity and vividness to present experience, it may help people break unhealthy habits, and it can soothe troubled spirits and lift people's moods. It reduces stress and chronic pain. It makes people

One highly effective way to practice mindfulness is through meditation, which is recommended by Buddhists as a spiritual exercise and also by happiness experts of all sorts. Nevertheless

Clarity of values also makes it possible to identify red-herring habits. A red-herring habit is a habit that we loudly claim to want to adopt, when we don't actually intend to do so.

All I did was read a book, and that action unleashed an enormous force: the Strategy of the Lightning Bolt.

When we distract ourselves, we purposefully redirect our thoughts, and by doing so, we change our experience. Distraction can help us resist temptation, minimize stress, feel refreshed, and tolerate pain, and it can help us stick to our good habits.

Remember, the reason to clear clutter is because, somehow, that clutter is diminishing your happiness. If you don't care, don't bother.

A reader posted about a more modest change: "I dreaded my dentist appointment because I knew they'd ask how often I floss. It occurred to me that I could just floss every day, and then that question would never bother me. It puzzles me why the solution suddenly became so obvious and so easy in that moment.

Although people often assume that cravings intensify over time, research shows that with active distraction, urges—even strong urges—usually subside within about fifteen minutes.

You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you like to do.

SUMMARY: UPHOLDER LIKELY STRENGTHS: Self-starter Self-motivated Conscientious Reliable Thorough Sticks to a schedule Eager to understand and meet expectations

Drawing on intrinsic motivation makes us far more likely to stick to a behavior, and to find it satisfying.

enthusiasm spurs us to adventure.

One study showed that children who got a reward for coloring with magic markers—an activity that children love—didn't spend as much time with markers, later, as children who didn't expect a reward. The children began to think, "Why would I color if I don't get a reward?

how a couple fights matters more than how much they fight.

This was exactly what I had noticed about the "stopping" aspect of First Steps. When we try a new habit for the first time, it feels full of promise, even if it's arduous. But most of that excitement is gone the second time, and the habit's drawbacks are more apparent. Plus, there's the discouraging feeling of having lost ground, of going backwards. "Hang in there," I said.

Everyone's happiness project is unique.

We set out to be wrecked.

SUMMARY: QUESTIONER LIKELY STRENGTHS: Data-driven Fair-minded (according to his or her judgment) Interested in creating systems that are efficient and effective Willing to play devil's advocate Comfortable bucking the system if it's warranted Inner-directed Unwilling to accept authority without justification

People take less food when using tongs, instead of spoons, to serve themselves.

marriage, it's less important to have many pleasant experiences than it is to have fewer unpleasant experiences, because people have a "negativity bias"; our reactions to bad events are faster, stronger, and stickier than our reactions to good events. In fact, in practically every language

Eventually I learned to reject this advice. Somehow, I figured out that it was easier for me to resist certain temptations by never giving in to them.

would seek happiness in the ways that seemed most natural to me.

How can I deprive myself of something without feeling deprived? When it comes to habits, feeling deprived is a pernicious state. When we feel deprived, we feel entitled to compensate ourselves—often, in ways that undermine our good habits.