Quotes from Gretchen Rubin

Also, accomplishing small tasks boosts our sense of "self-efficacy." The more we trust ourselves to follow through on our own commitments, the more likely we are to believe that we can keep an important habit.

For each Tendency, one question matters most: Upholders ask: Should I do this? Questioners ask: Does this make sense? Obligers ask: Does this matter to anyone else? Rebels ask: Is this the person I want to be?

It struck me as poignant that my long relationship with my beloved grandparents could be embodied in a few small objects. But the power of objects doesn't depend on their volume; in fact, my memories were better evoked by a few carefully chosen items than by a big assortment of things with vague associations.

As I listened to this exchange, suddenly I realized that the word listen was just a rearrangement of the word silent—remarkably apt.

In fact, for both men and women—and this finding struck me as highly significant—the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women. Time spent with men doesn't make a difference.

Boredom can be important. That's when you have to figure out what you want to do.

Rather than striving for a particular level of possessions—minimal or otherwise—it's helpful to think about getting rid of what's superfluous. Even people who prefer to own many possessions enjoy their surroundings more when they've purged everything that's not needed, used, or loved.

The more we notice, the more we can enjoy.

A sense of growth is so important to happiness that it's often preferable to be progressing to the summit rather than to be at the summit.

Although people sometimes assume that the happy are self-absorbed and complacent, just the opposite is true. In general, happiness doesn't make people want to drink daiquiris on the beach; it makes them want to help rural villagers gain better access to clean water.

There is only love.

In a nutshell, to influence some to follow a certain course, it's helpful to remember: Upholders want to know what should be done Questioners want justification Obligers need accountability Rebels want freedom to do something their own way

It's easy to make the mistake of thinking that if you have something you love or there's something you want, you'll be happier with more.

W. H. Auden articulated this tension beautifully: "Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity.

In many situations, we don't need to make a perfect choice but just a good-enough choice.

There's no magic formula—not for ourselves, and not for the people around us. We won't make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other people's habits, even the habits of geniuses; we must know our own nature, and what habits serve us best.

By mindfully deciding how to act in line with my values instead of mindlessly applying my rules, I was better able to make the decisions that supported my happiness.

Instead of always worrying about being efficient, I wanted to spend time on exploration, experimentation, digression, and failed attempts that didn't always look productive.

Erasmus's The Praise of Folly. According to a footnote, the argument of the growing heap is: If ten coins are not enough to make a man rich, what if you add one coin? What if you add another? Finally, you will have to say that no one can be rich unless one coin can make him so.

One of life's small pleasures is to return something to its proper place;

One parent of a Rebel explained, "The best way to wrangle the Rebel child is to give the kid the information to make a decision, present the issue as a question that he alone can answer, and let him make a decision and act without telling you. Let him make a decision without an audience. Audiences = expectations. If he thinks you're not watching, he won't need to rebel against your expectations.

The happiest and most successful people are those who have figured out ways to exploit their Tendency to their benefit and, just as important, found ways to counterbalance its limitations.

A sense of growth is so important to happiness that it's often preferable to be progressing to the summit rather than to be at the summit. Neither a scientist nor a philosopher but a novelist, Lisa Grunwald, came up with the most brilliant summation of this happiness principle: "Best is good, better is best.

I was always telling myself, "Keep it simple." But as Albert Einstein pointed out, "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.