Quotes from Jen Kirkman

Not everyone is there to get an abortion. Your body is like a car that has needs and women's bodies constantly need a level of care that men don't.

My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.

I want to re-visit everything. We're people and we're so different. I think it would just be nice if it wasn't just like, "Eww, women." That would be a big thing for me.

There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.

I'd love to be a hit in Germany. I'm working on trying to get a gig as David Hasselhoff's opening act.

The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have kids. I do not want to raise a child.

Parents talk a lot about how much strength and dedication it takes to raise a child. I think it also takes a lot of strength and dedication to carve out a life that doesn't seem normal to anyone else.

Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring it on stage; it's not funny.

Eventually I'm going to be too old to be on camera, and I've been doing stand-up a long time.