Quotes from Ambrose Bierce

He who ignores the law of probabilities challenges an adversary that is seldom beaten.

Peyton Farquhar was dead; his body, with a broken neck, swung gently from side to side beneath the timbers of the Owl Creek bridge.

Deep sadness is an artist of powers that affects people in different ways. To one it comes like the stroke of an arrow, shocking all the emotions to a sharper life. To another, it comes as the blow of a crushing strike.

Mammon, n. The god of the world's leading religion. His chief temple is in the city of New York

for St. Andrew, who testified upon one of that shape. In the algebra of psychology x stands for Woman's mind.

for the clown himself imitated the serious characters

History does not forbid us to hope. But it forbids us to rely upon numbers; they will be against us. If history teaches anything worth learning it teaches that the majority of mankind is neither good nor wise. When government is founded upon the public conscience and the public intelligence the stability of states is a dream.

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

ALONE, adj. In bad company.

Satana: Vorrei chiedere un unico favore, egli disse. Dio: Di' pure. Mi risulta che sta per essere creato l'uomo. Avrà bisogno di leggi. Miserabile! Tu, destinato ad essere il suo avversario, tu, che dall'alba dell'eternità sei stato riempito d'odio per l'anima sua, tu chiedi il diritto di fargli le leggi? Chiedo perdono; ciò che domando è che gli sia permesso di farsele da solo". E così fu ordinato.

Humor, like Death, has all seasons for his own.

I is the first letter of the alphabet, the first word of the language, the first thought of the mind, the first object of affection.

BLACKGUARD, n. A man whose qualities, prepared for display like a box of berries in a market—the fine ones on top—have been opened on the wrong side. An inverted gentleman.

In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward a straiter resemblance to the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell. Aborigines

This thing Allegiance, as I suppose, Is a ring fitted in the subject's nose, Whereby that organ is kept rightly pointed To smell the sweetness of the Lord's anointed.

Ah, that we could fall into women's arms without falling into their hands.

Observatory n, A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

Prescription, n.: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

ABSENCE, n. That which makes the heart grow fonder — of absence. Absence of mind is the cerebral condition essential to success in popular preaching. It is sometimes termed lack of sense.

ANIMAL, n. An organism which, requiring a great number of other animals for its sustenance, illustrates in a marked way the bounty of Providence in preserving the lives of his creatures.

ABRUPT, adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon- shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it. Dr. Samuel Johnson beautifully said of another author's ideas that they were concatenated without abruption.

Pessimism n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

ABOMINABLE, adj. The quality of another's opinions.

Hypocrite, n. One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.