Quotes from Nikki Glaser

The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don't understand. It's like, 'I don't want to deal with the fact that some people might have been born in the wrong body.'

My standup is years and years of me working things out on the road. I'm really proud of it! A lot of it is about, well... I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like every special or show I do is some variation on how I feel like I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.

That's the compliment I get most often - 'You guys are so honest.'

I have to say that it's fun to write for young girls, and it's exciting to know that we're influencing them and they're looking at us like, 'I want to grow up and be like them.' I mean, I just made up the person saying that.

Someone told me I looked like a young Tonya Harding recently, as if 'young' would soften the blow.

I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval.

Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her and laughing would be incredible.

I like putting myself in uncomfortable situations.

People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of.

I started out splitting my time between the Kansas City and St. Louis comedy scenes, which both had bluer sensibilities than other cities that I've worked.

Temping is the worst. I would rather starve and be homeless than nanny or temp again.

Make eye contact with cute strangers. Give guys your email. Email is safer than a number, or at least it feels that way.

Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want.

Jimmy Fallon's strengths are that he's fun, and he's good at impressions, and he's musically inclined. And my strength is that I'm a joke writer, but I also have no filter, and I think that that's not a talent per se, but it's just a thing about myself that I have found that people like about what I do.

It strikes me as pretty interesting and cool how girls support each other in this business. I've never felt so much support in my life than from my fellow female comedians. I attribute much of my success to some of them.

I just realized I have probably spent more time in a strip club than Rihanna has, and that is saying a lot because she goes a lot!

As far as how I approach the humor, I think the best comedy is going to happen when I'm myself and act organically to a news item or situation.

I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind.

I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe.

You're not too good for the sleep mask-neck pillow combo! You're not too cool for it!