Quotes from Terry Pratchett

A man can learn all of an opponent's weaknesses on that board,' said Gilt. 'Really?' said Vetinari, raising his eyebrows. 'Should not he be trying to learn his own?

The last thing she wanted was to see her friend getting ideas in her head. There was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage.

Sometimes I get nice letters from people who know they're due to meet him (Death) soon, and hope I've got him right. Those are the kind of letters that cause me to stare at the wall for some time.

Sometimes scientists change their minds. New developments cause a rethink. If this bothers you, consider how much damage is being done to the world by people for whom new developments do not cause a rethink.

I'm just saying man is naturally a mythopoeic creature. What's that mean? said the Senior Wrangler. Means we make things up as we go along, said the Dean, not looking up.

There are all kinds of darkness, and all kinds of things can be found in them, imprisoned, banished, lost or hidden. Sometimes they escape. Sometimes they simply fall out. Sometimes they just can't take it any more.

Newt had always suspected that people who regularly used the word community were using it in a very specific sense that excluded him and everyone he knew.

Ye gods, it was so much better when there were just four of us up against that bloody great dragon, Vimes thought as they walked on. Of course, we nearly got burned alive a few times, but at least it wasn't complicated. It was a damned great dragon. You could see it coming. It didn't get political on you.

Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.

Humans need fantasy to be human.

Listen, happy endings is fine if they turn out happy," said Granny, glaring at the sky. "But you can't make 'em for other people. Like the only way you could make a happy marriage is by cuttin' their heads off as soon as they say 'I do', yes? You can't make happiness…" Granny Weatherwax stared at the distant city. "All you can do," she said, "is make an ending.

Their families cordially detested one another.

Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

She had a tall bearing and a tall voice and a tall manner, and was tall in every respect except height. Amazingly, she'd apparently been able to keep this a secret from people.

Well, the traveling teachers do come through every few months, said the Baron. Yes, sir, I know, sir, and they're useless, sir. They teach facts, not understanding. It's like teaching people about forests by showing them a saw. I want a proper school, sir, to teach reading and writing, and most of all thinking, sir, so people can find what they're good at, because someone doing what they really like is always an asset to any country, and too often people never find out until it's too late.

He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.

Keep your vocabulary as wide as you can. I have some difficulty with the word 'cool', and I'm not too bothered about the word 'awesome'. People like me are looking to people like you guys of the next generation to deal with this shit. It's like seeing a rock guitarist pick up a Fender Stratocaster and hold it the wrong way.

We ain't going to curse anyone," said Granny firmly. "It hardly ever works if they don't know you've done it.

He moved on, in the centre of a widening circle. He wasn't an enemy, he was a nemesis.

Vimes had never mastered ambition. It was something that happened to other people.

According to the history books, the decisive battle that ended the Ankh-Morpork Civil War was fought between two handfuls of bone-weary men in a swamp early one misty morning and, although one side claimed victory, ended with a practical score of Humans 0, ravens 1,000, which is the case with most battles.

Don't start weaving a social hypothesis in front of an angry woman holding a blade.

All the higher life forms scythed away, just like that. [ . . . ] Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

Once you gave a thing a name you gave it a life.