Quotes from Marshall Goldsmith

the willpower we assume when we set a goal rarely measures up to the willpower we display in achieving that goal.

The answers were never about money. They were always about happiness, relationships, following dreams, and meaning.

The moral: there's never anyone in the other boat. We are always screaming at an empty vessel. An empty boat isn't targeting us. And neither are all the people creating the sour notes in the soundtrack of our day.

Being smart turns people on. Announcing how smart you are turns them off.

It takes extraordinary effort to stop doing something in our comfort zone (because it's painless or familiar or mildly pleasurable) in order to start something difficult that will be good for us in the long run.

Everyone around you has to recognize that you're changing. Relying on other people increases the degree of difficulty exponentially.

where there is no system for honoring the avoidance of a bad decision or the cessation of bad behavior. Our performance reviews are solely based on what we've done, what numbers we've delivered, what increases we have posted against last year's results. Even the seemingly minor personal goals are couched in terms of actions we've initiated, not behavior we have stopped. We get credit for being punctual, not for stopping our lateness.

If we always express our opinion, no matter how hurtful or noncontributory it may be, we are exercising our right to be "me.

You can see how, over time, it would be easy for each of us to cross the line and begin to make a virtue of our flaws—simply because the flaws constitute what we think of as "me.

I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch, He said to me, "You must not ask for so much." And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, She cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?" —Leonard Cohen, "Bird on a Wire

But there's a difference between being an achiever and a leader. Successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others.

All other things being equal, your people skills (or lack of them) become more pronounced the higher up you go. In fact, even when all other things are not equal, your people skills often make the difference in how high you go.

we feel regret's sharp sting when we reflect on the opportunities squandered, the choices deferred, the efforts not made

People who believe they can succeed see opportunities where others see threats. They're not afraid of uncertainty or ambiguity. They embrace it. They want to take greater risks and achieve greater returns. Given the choice, they will always bet on themselves.

Regret is the emotion we experience when we assess our present circumstances and reconsider how we got here. We replay what we actually did against what we should have done—and find ourselves wanting in some way. Regret can hurt.

Lamenting the past is a waste of time. I learned my lesson. Let's move on." That's one way of looking at regret—if only as a form of self-protection from the pain of knowing we missed out. We're comforted by the fact that no one is immune to regret (we're not alone) and that time heals all wounds (the only thing worse than experiencing pain is not knowing if and when the pain will go away).

The pain that comes with regret should be mandatory, not something to be shooed away like an annoying pet. When we make bad choices and fail ourselves or hurt the people we love, we should feel pain. That pain can be motivating and in the best sense, triggering—a reminder that maybe we messed up but we can do better. It's one of the most powerful feelings guiding us to change.

Because our environmental factors are so often outside of our control, we may think there is not much we can do about them. We feel like victims of circumstance. Puppets of fate. I don't accept that. Fate is the hand of cards we've been dealt. Choice is how we play the hand.

parents must constantly remind their children to say, "Thank you." It's one of the last and hardest things to teach naturally rebellious kids.

Try this: For one week treat every idea that comes your way from another person with complete neutrality. Think of yourself as a human Switzerland. Don't take sides. Don't express an opinion. Don't judge the comment. If you find yourself constitutionally incapable of just saying "Thank you," make it an innocuous, "Thanks, I hadn't considered that." Or, "Thanks. You've given me something to think about.

this "we will succeed" attitude leads to staff burnout, high turnover, and a weaker team than the one you started with.

The Great Western Disease is "I'll be happy when…" This is our belief that happiness is a static and finite goal, within our grasp when we get that promotion, or buy

Feedback—both the act of giving it and taking it—is our first step in becoming smarter, more mindful about the connection between our environment and our behavior. Feedback teaches us to see our environment as a triggering mechanism. In some cases, the feedback itself is the trigger.

We think we control our environment but in fact it controls us. We think our external environment is conspiring in our favor—that is, helping us—when actually it is taxing and draining us. It is not interested in what it can give us. It's only interested in what it can take from us.