Quotes from Marshall Goldsmith

if you believe your colleague Bill is a jerk, you will filter Bill's actions through that belief. No matter what Bill does, you'll see it through a prism that confirms he's a jerk. Even the times when he's not a jerk, you'll interpret it as the exception to the rule that Bill's a jerk.

Frances Hesselbine knows that listening is a two-part maneuver. There's the part where we actually listen. And there's the part where we speak. Speaking establishes how we are perceived as a listener. What we say is proof of how well we listen. They are two sides of the same coin.

The reality for leaders of the past and leaders in the future is that in the past very bright people would put up with disrespectful behavior, but in the future they will leave!

If you're born on third base, you shouldn't think you hit a triple.

Understanding the past is perfectly admissible if your issue is accepting the past. But if your issue is changing the future, understanding will not take you there. My experience tells me that the only effective approach is looking people in the eye and saying, "If you want to change, do this.

When you find yourself mentally or literally drumming your fingers while someone else is talking, stop the drumming. Stop demonstrating impatience when listening to someone. Stop saying (or thinking) "Next!" It's not only rude and annoying, but it's sure to inspire your employees to find their next boss.

we go through life grumbling about what should be at the expense of accepting what is

a simple question can trigger a simple response that's appropriate in one environment and completely wrong in another.

It is incredibly difficult for any of us to look in the mirror every day and face the reality that we didn't even try to do what we claimed was most important in our lives. Even

Effective leaders know this intuitively. They know who on their team can be left alone and who needs more direction. Other strong leaders learn it through observation and trial and error.

Apology is where behavioral change begins.

No matter what someone tells him, he accepts it by reminding himself, "I won't learn less." What that means is when somebody makes a suggestion or gives you ideas, you're either going to learn more or learn nothing. But you're not going to learn less. Hearing people out does not make you dumber. So, thank them for trying to help.

For bosses this means closely monitoring how you hand out encouragement. If you find yourself saying, "Great idea," and then dropping the other shoe with a tempering "but" or "however," try cutting your response off at "idea." Even better, before you speak, take a breath and ask yourself if what you're about to say is worth it.

We can always get better at something, even if it's just preserving the progress we've made. I

It's an interesting equation: Less me. More them. Equals success.

Not all of us require a violent life-threatening knock on the head to change our behavior. It only seems that way.

Did I do my best to be happy? • Did I do my best to find meaning? • Did I do my best to have a healthy diet? • Did I do my best to be a good husband?

We think we are in sync with our environment, but actually it's at war with us.

The best ideas are like great wines. They improve with age. But they can also go through a dumb period when they need time to settle and sink in.

The Four Commitments. I need them to commit to: 1. Let go of the past. 2. Tell the truth. 3. Be supportive and helpful—not cynical or negative. 4. Pick something to improve yourself—so everyone is focused more on "improving" than "judging.

We think we control our environment but in fact it controls us.

It's hard to help people who don't think they have a problem. It's impossible to fix people who think someone else is the problem.

The more we are committed to believing that something is true, the less likely we are to believe that its opposite is true, even in the face of clear evidence that shows we are wrong.

a changing environment changes us. The