Quotes from Scott Adams

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day

Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.

Happiness has more to do with where you are heading than where you are.

Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.

Avoid career traps such as pursuing jobs that require you to sell your limited supply of time while preparing you for nothing better.

The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there

Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don't let it leave until I extract that value.

Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.

The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time with your family and friends.

The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.

One of the most important tricks for maximizing your productivity involves matching your mental state to the task.

it is not belief to say God exists and then continue sinning and hoarding your wealth while innocent people die of starvation. When belief does not control your most important decisions, it is not belief in the underlying reality, it is belief in the usefulness of believing.

In most groups the craziest person is in control. It starts because no one wants the problems that come from pissing off a crazy person. It's just smarter and easier sometimes to let the crazy person have his or her way.

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he'd rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don't seem so bad lately.

The surest way to identify those who won't succeed at weight loss is that they tend to say things like "My goal is to lose ten pounds." Weight targets often work in the short run. But if you need willpower to keep the weight off, you're doomed in the long run. The only way to succeed in the long run is by using a system that bypasses your need for willpower.

Priorities are the things you need to get right so the things you love can thrive.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain's limits, not the universe's.

Free yourself from the shackles of an oppressive reality. What's real to you is what you imagine and what you feel. If you manage your illusions wisely, you might get what you want, but you won't necessarily understand why it worked.

The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.