Quotes from Danny Wallace

Essays just aren't my thing: no matter how hard I tried, it seemed I was always a bit average.

Because isn't to be pursued, to be thought of as special, to be needed by someone somewhere, whether we know them yet or not, all any of us actually want?

My wife said to me recently that she hates couples who finish each other's sentences for them. I agreed that it was annoying, but it made me think that perhaps we were missing out on something, so now every time she says anything, I say 'full stop' at the end. I have been doing it for a full week now, and it has really kept the romance alive.

Sometimes I look at myself and think, Is this it?, and then I think, Yes, it is. This is literally the best you will ever look. Tomorrow, you will look just a little bit worse, and this is how it will go, for ever.

This is best thing about being manly: it's so easy to fake. Smear some oil on your face, or nod and say "Aaah" near mechanics.

I poked a monk.

I don't know if she has a boyfriend. You should ask her.' 'If I ask her, she'll say yes. It's better not to know. That way you're always in with a chance. Even if they're with their husbands, and you've just watched them take their vows, never ask them if they're married. Totally ruins your chances.

Sest üks asi, mida ma lootuse juures kõige rohkem vihkan - mida ma selle juures põlgan, mida keegi teine ei paista selle kohta tunnistavat - on see, et äkitselt leitud lootus on kõige kiirem tee äkilise lootusetuseni.

But unlike the classically trained, my dancing had no respect for so-called boundaries; I wasn't afraid to break the rules.

the golden hour--that hour of sunshine where the world looks the way it looks in your dreams.

Denn das Einzige, was ich an der Hoffnung nicht leiden kann, das Einzige, was ich daran rundwegs ablehne, auch wenn es niemand zugeben will, ist der Umstand, dass plötzlich aufkeimende Hoffnung der direkte Weg zu abrupter Hoffnungslosigkeit ist.

Wagamama. Text messaging aficionados might like to note that this is one of the most satisfying words you can possibly type.

Listen, um ... in case you even feel like saying hello ...' I said, and I handed something else to her My disposable camera. Twelve moments of my own. She took it, and smiled like she understood, then looked at me once more. It was a look of recognition, something slowly dawning on her, my face meaning more to her then it had. 'I knew I knew you,' she said. 'I think I knew I knew you, too," I said.

This might just be two people in a queue, but this has become a mighty battle of wills - a war between all that is right and all that is wrong - and it is I and I alone standing at the gates between one minor slight in the queue-munity, and outright supermarket-based anarchy. In many ways, I am doing this for you.

Was herunterfallen kann, hält man mit Händen, doch was in meinem Herzen ist, damit werde ich sterben.

Die Menschen, die dich umgeben, sind ein Teil von dir. Ihr habt eine gemeinsame Geschichte. Sie können sie sogar mit dir gemeinsam schreiben. Und wenn du einen verlierst, verlierst du damit ein Stück von dir, egal wie du ihn verloren hast.

Vielleicht war es gut für mich, dass alles so kam, wie es gekommen war. Damit die Vergangenheit auch verging. Damit man nicht mehr dorthin zurückkonnte, damit man sie hinter sich lassen konnte, als machte man mit einer alten Kamera ein schlechtes Foto und kurbelte den Film dann einfach weiter.

I just think—' 'Don't think. If you think, you'll never truly get over her. Thinking just extends things.' So I decided not to think.

I sat down on the sofa, surrounded by years of coffee rings and sandwich stains. If the police ever did a DNA test on this sofa, it would be ninety per cent disappointment.

An interesting fact about Starkley is that there are no interesting facts about Starkley.

I rapped on the door. By which I mean I knocked on it, not that I did a little MC-ing. But if I had've done a little MC-ing, it would've been quite angry stuff, like NWA when they're on about the Rodney King incident. Only I'd have made it less about police brutality and more about old Devon men ripping young folk off with their made-up stories of broken down cars. And there I think you'll find the main difference between British and American crime.

I was her world, yes, and I was at that point we all reach where I was denying she was mine. I'd never quiet forgive myself for that.

Please understand: I wear glasses. This was no place for a man with glasses.

I apologize. I feel I've let you down somehow with my tales of reasonable and efficient travel. I'm sure if I'd been Bill Bryson my taxi driver would have told me a funny story, or something. I'm afraid mine simply listened to the BBC London and was outraged by everything the presenter was saying. He did spit when he talked, though, if that's any use to you.