Quotes from Gary Chapman

Years and years ago, I said I did not want to write academic books. I want to write books that are in the language of the common person so that Joe, who didn't even go to college, can sit down and read my book and get it and apply it to his life.

There were only two things I knew in a Christian framework that I could do. One would be the pastor of a church, the other would be a missionary. I didn't particularly like snakes, so I decided I should probably be a pastor.

We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.

I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.

I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.

People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.

Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.

Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.

Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.

What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.

For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.

The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.

Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments.

Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank

Love is a choice you make everyday.

The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history.

Love is a verb.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.

People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.

All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.

You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.