Quotes from Gary Chapman

Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.

Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.

True love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run it's course.

Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.

Love is a choice.

I think people desperately want to feel love.

We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.

A gentle answer turns away wrath.

Love is a spiritual grace. We learn it from God.

Conflicts are not a sign you've married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.

We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.

I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved.

Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.

One of the things I say is, 'You cannot control your spouse, but you can influence your spouse.' And one of the ways to influence your spouse is to make sure you are meeting their need for love.

If you want to improve a relationship, it's not that you demand your spouse to change. You have to ask, 'Where did I fail in this relationship?'

I remember, in the early days of my marriage, I thought I married the wrong person. We held to our own ideas of what the other should be and do, but neither of us lived up to those expectations.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offence up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.

As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry.

Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.

In reality, relationships that are successful tend to take the attitude, 'How can I help you?' 'How can I enrich your life?' 'How can I be a better husband to you,' if it's a marriage.

I thought the whole thing was you fall in love with somebody, and it's so wonderful, and it's so euphoric, and it's going to be that way forever. Nobody told me that two years after you fall in love, you're going to come down off the euphoria.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.