Quotes from Jerome K. Jerome

I do think that, of all the silly, irritating tomfoolishness by which we are plagued, this "weather-forecast" fraud is about the most aggravating.  It "forecasts" precisely what happened yesterday or a the day before, and precisely the opposite of what is going to happen to-day.

if my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed.

It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Harris's fixed ideas that he can sing a comic song; the fixed idea, on the contrary, among those of Harris's friends who have heard him try, is that he can't and never will be able to, and that he ought not to be allowed to try.

George suggested walking back to Henley and assaulting a policeman, and so getting a night's lodging in the station-house.  But then there was the thought, "Suppose he only hits us back and refuses to lock us up!" We could not pass the whole night fighting policemen.  Besides, we did not want to overdo the thing and get six months.

It is in the petty details, not in the great results, that the interest of existence lies.

Memory is a rare ghost-raiser. Like a haunted house, its walls are ever echoing to unseen feet. Through the broken casements we watch the flitting shadows of the dead, and the saddest shadows of them all are the shadows of our own dead selves.

Nel caso attuale, per tornare al foglietto illustrativo delle pillole contro il mal di fegato, ne presentavo tutti i sintomi, senza possibilità di errore, e il principale era "una generale avversione nei confronti di qualsiasi tipo di attività".

read the prescription.  It ran: "1 lb. beefsteak, with 1 pt. bitter beer every 6 hours. 1 ten-mile walk every morning. 1 bed at 11 sharp every night. And don't stuff up your head with things you don't understand."   I followed the directions, with the happy result—speaking for myself—that my life was preserved, and is still going on.

ma, già, ogni cosa ha i suoi difetti, come disse quel tale quando gli morì la suocera e dovette pagare le spese dei funerali.

We, in this age, do not see the beauty of that dog. We are too familiar with it. It is like the sunset and stars: we are not awed by their loveliness because they are common to our eyes. So it is with that china dog.

we abolished marriage two hundred years ago. You see, married life did not work at all well with our system. Domestic life, we found, was thoroughly anti-socialistic in its tendencies. Men thought more of their wives and families than they did of the State. They wished to labour for the benefit of their little circle of beloved ones rather than for the good of the community.

What I'm looking for is a blessing not in disguise.

information it conveys, as in its simple truthfulness.  Its pages form the record of events that really happened.  All that has been done

Idling has always been my strong point. I take no credit to myself in the matter-it is a gift.

Contented, unambitious people are all very well in their way. They form a neat, useful background for great portraits to be painted against, and they make a respectable, if not particularly intelligent, audience for the active spirits of the age to play before.

And when they reached St. Albans, there would be that wretched couple, kissing under the Abbey walls. Then these folks would go and be pirates until the marriage was over.

There is no pathos in real misery, no luxury in real grief.

It was quick work. He came, he saw, I conquered!

It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me: the idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart.

nothing excuses violence of language and coarseness of expression, especially in a man who has been carefully brought up

Let us have done with vain regrets and longings for the days that never will be ours again. Our work lies in front, not behind us; and Forward! is our motto.

Ludzie obeznani w temacie powiadajÄ…, ?e kto ma czyste sumienie, czuje siÄ™ szcz??liwy i ukontentowany, wszelako peÅ'ny ?oÅ'Ä…dek wywiÄ…zuje siÄ™ z tego zadania równie skutecznie, a do tego mniejszym kosztem.

George goes to sleep at a bank from ten to four each day, except Saturdays, when they wake him up and put him outside at two)