Quotes from Mark Twain

The timid man yearns for full value and demands a tenth. The bold man strikes for double value and compromises on par.

When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men.

In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.

The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.

How unfortunate and how narrowing a thing it is for a man to have wealth who makes a god of it instead of a servant

Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?

I thoroughly believe that any man who's got anything worthwhile to say will be heard if he only says it often enough.

God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.

No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.

It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

We have the best government that money can buy.

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute-but they all worship money.

Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.

Make money and the whole world will conspire to call you a gentleman.

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart-a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.

By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.