Quotes from Mark Twain

He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.

We are chameleons and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility.

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.

If there is a God, he is a malign thug.

True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.

Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.

God cures and the doctor sends the bill.

God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. ("In God we Trust") is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.

In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.

If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.

God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created.

Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.

God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence.

If the Christians of America could be persuaded to vote God and a clean ticket, it would bring about a moral revolution that would be incalculably beneficent. It would save the country.

All gods are better than their reputation.

It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.