Quotes from Mark Twain

I could not really complain, because he had only given me his word of honor as security; I ought to have required of him something substantial.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Ä°nsan, yüzü k?zaran ya da k?zarmas? gereken tek hayvand?r.

Satan was accustomed to say that our race lived a life of continuous and uninterrupted self-deception. It duped itself from cradle to grave with shams and delusions which it mistook for realities, and this made its entire life a sham. Of the score of fine qualities which it imagined it had and was vain of, it really possessed hardly one. It regarded itself as gold, and was only brass.

For he did not seem to know any way to do a person a kindness but by killing him.

Sometimes too much drink is barely enough.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns a lesson he can learn in no other way.

Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration; authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Because in my nature I have always run to pie, whilst in his nature he has always run to mystery.

Loose and forbear!

That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.

True love is the only heart disease that is best left to run on--the only affection of the heart for which there is no help, and none desired.

S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think?

Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.

Like it! Yes—the way I'd like a hot stove if I was to set on it long enough. No, Tom, I won't be rich, and I won't live in them cussed smothery houses. I like the woods, and the river, and hogsheads, and I'll stick to 'em, too.

Hello Huckleberry! Hello, yourself, and see how you like it. What's that you got? Dead cat. Lemme see him, Huck. My, he's pretty stiff. Where'd you get him? Bought him off'n a boy.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

But hunger is pride's master...

The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there's no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.

The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two.

When they came it was as if the lord of the world had arrived, and had brought all the glories of its kingdoms along; and when they went they left a calm behind which was like the deep sleep which follows an orgy.

So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is. Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.

Every man feels that his experience is unlike that of anybody else and therefore he should write it down—he finds also that everybody else has thought and felt on some points precisely as he has done, and therefore he should write it down.