Quotes from Mark Twain

I know I am not capable of suffering more than I did during those few minutes of suspense in the dark, surrounded by those creeping, bloody-minded tarantulas. I

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

Yes; en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns mysef, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

There is not one man in seventy-five hundred that can tell what a pictured face is intended to express. There is not one man in five hundred that can go into a court-room and be sure that he will not mistake some harmless innocent of a juryman for the black-hearted assassin on trial. Yet such people talk of character and presume to interpret expression in pictures.

Ours is the land of the free—nobody denies that—nobody challenges it. [Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.]

Caminaba yo por el sendero muy descorazonado, cuando me sentí penetrado de una sensación reconfortante, alegre y cosquilleante, igual que un burbujeo, y tan alegre, que no es posible explicarlo con palabras, porque comprendí por esa señal que Satanás estaba cerca. Ya

It is a public journal; I will explain what that is, another time. It is not cloth, it is made of paper; some time I will explain what paper is.  The lines on it are reading matter; and not written by hand, but printed; by and by I will explain what printing is. A thousand of these sheets have been made, all exactly like this, in every minute detail — they can't be told apart.

And with that, away he went. You never see a bird work so since you was born. He laid into his work like a nigger, and the way he hove acorns into that hole for about two hours and a half was one of the most exciting and astonishing spectacles I ever struck. He

The Mormon Bible is rather stupid and tiresome to read, but there is nothing vicious in its teachings. Its code of morals is unobjectionable- -it is smouched [Milton] from the New Testament and no credit given.

Bundan 20 y?l sonra, yapt?klar?ndan çok yapmad???n ÅŸeylerden piÅŸmanl?k duyacaks?n.

Oh—go on, I'll take a breath or two—I don't know where I am, I'm all at sea." He

Did you think you had educated the superstition out of those people?' 'I certainly did think it.' 'Well, then, you may unthink it.

the very next morning at daylight such parties are sure to be found lying up some back alley, contentedly waiting for the hearse.

and every lady's rose-leafy dress flapping soft and silky around her hips, and she looking like the most loveliest parasol.

To the rear, sir—he's lost his leg!

to seize a small boy by the slack of his roundabout and arrest his flight.

explosive and was expected to blow him up and

It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

the palace considerable; but the duke stayed huffy a good while

La crueldad es monopolio de quienes poseen el sentido moral. Cuando un bruto inflige un dolor, lo hace de un modo inocente, no comete una mala acción; para el bruto no existe el mal. Y

In making this substitution I had drawn upon the wisdom of a very remote source — the wisdom of my boyhood — for the true statesman does not despise any wisdom, howsoever lowly may be its origin:  in my boyhood I had always saved my pennies and contributed buttons to the foreign missionary cause.

The difference between truth and fiction is that fiction has to make sense.

He was a poet with a rough skin: one whose sturdiness was more the result of external circumstances than of intrinsic nature. Too kindly constituted to be very provident, he was yet not imprudent. He had a quiet humorousness of disposition, not out of keeping with a frequent melancholy, the general expression of his countenance being one of abstraction. Like Walt Whitman he felt as his years increased— 'I foresee too much; it means more than I thought.

I have no special regard for Satan; but I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may even be that I lean a little his way, on account of his not having a fair show. All religions issue bibles against him, and say the most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side. We have none but the evidence for the prosecution, and yet we have rendered the verdict. To my mind, this is irregular. It is un-English; it is un-American; it is French.