Quotes from Laurence J. Peter

Many an optimist has become rich simply by buying out a pessimist.

We are members of a strange species that devotes its energies to climbing the ladder of success in order to make money to buy things we don't like.

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

When a person puts his best foot forward and gets it stepped on, that's life.

If we lacked imagination enough to foresee something better, life would indeed be a tragedy.

Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

The habitually punctual make all their mistakes right on time.

There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.

When a New Yorker looks like he has a suntan, it's probably rust.

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

He laughs best whose laugh lasts.

When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.